misanthrope?

am i a misanthrope, or are people in the dining hall just really dumb?

now on to relevant news, i failed my latin test.  apparantly studying in the morning isnt the right idea, especially when you're super fucking high when you go to sleep, because then you just hit the snooze button... ALOT.  sometimes i get into the mindset that weed is bad, and i should definitley stop.  its only impairing my reality, and distracting me from real life, where i eventually need to get a real job, and find a real wife, all these pressing matters.  but at the same time there is this driving force  that tells me, if i like it why would i stop.  its like that philosopher, epicurates, who said that fill yourself with things you like to do, like smoke and drink, and then take out all the things that make you unhappy, like school and work.  personally i think there needs to be a balance, and party of why i made this blog is because im having trouble balancing, as you see i failed my latin test.  why did i fail? because i smoked weed all day yesterday and didnt have time to study. 

i feel so empty today, like i need more meaning in my life.  i do nothing, for the most part.  on the weekdays i smoke weed, hang out with friends, and do the occasional hour of homework.  on the weekends i smoke weed until the night, then i drink and go to parties.  and inevitably hit on girls, with little to no success.  i wanat something more out of my college expirience.  i got a bid from a fraternity, and perhaps that is the way to go, but i feel that its just a one way street, that leads me to the same detour, it just takes a different route.  i have a plan, my plan is to take a break from marijuana.  i just purchased an eigth and when i finish half of it, i plan on saving it until after christmas, so ill keep you posted on that. 

now im tired of all this philisophical bull shit.  tonight, i am going to try to drink.  its fun, and it allows everyone to have a good time.  i would much rather smoke weed, but apparantly people are more willing to ruin their liver. doesnt make any sense to me, everyonen is still happy, but no one throws up.

i feel like life would be more meaningful if i had someone to share it with.  namely a girl, like a girlfriend.  but i would be almost as happy with a good friend, like a guy or a girl who i can just be good friends with.  i have always been opposed to the idea of a committed relationship, but know that i am meeting all different people i feel like it could work.  i have met at least 10 girls that i could see myself dating, as opposed to the 1 in high school.  its weird, how girls here are so different, and yet so similar.  if i dont want a girl, she wants me, but if i want a girl, she doesnt want me.  fuck that shit. ive tried with girls, many many times, and many times in college.  and tonight, i will talk to girls again, with a success rate of roughly 5% so dont wait up to hear about my risque adventures.

im watching good morning vietnam with a friend, im going to go smoke some weed soon, then ill probobly post again.  until then, smoke up, but find balence.
-Doc